


Fragile World

by thenextchapter



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Adorable Jace, Adorable Simon, Age Play, Age Regression/De-Aging, Daddy Alec Lightwood, Daddy Raphael Santiago, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, Multi, Non-Sexual Age Play, Pacifiers, Romance, Sick Character, Sickfic, baby Simon, baby jace, cute nicknames, daddy magnus bane, little jace, little simon, pull-ups
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:27:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26491156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thenextchapter/pseuds/thenextchapter
Summary: Jace gets ill from a recent demon attack and Alec and Magnus look after him. But Jace does something he hasn’t done since he and Alec were younger, he regresses into a Little. Magnus is confused at how Jace is acting and Alec is forced to tell him all about how he took the role of Caretaker of Jace when they were teens. And when Simon suddenly notices them acting closer he gets jealous of their “family unit” and regresses as well. Soon Raphael becomes Simon's daddy too.Basically Malec and Saphael age play!
Relationships: Clary Fray/Isabelle Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland, Simon Lewis/Raphael Santiago
Comments: 31
Kudos: 162





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiii!!! I have had written for a long time and finally decided to post it! This has about 20k words written and is not done yet so I'm posting as I re edit and review. I'm planning to post every week or sooner but I have a full time job and other stuff to do. Plus I have to actually finish it and that's a bit tougher... But I will get it done! PLEASE ENJOY!!!

Magnus Bane was the definition of “party-goer”. He would have parties for holidays, or just because it was a Tuesday afternoon. Dancing under neon lights, drinking cocktails, and hooking up with others for fun, there was never a dull night for him. Plus, he lived with his cat and never had a nosy roommate to get mad at him for being too loud or for always changing the layout of the house.

Now it was different. He lived with three people, rarely held a party, and honestly, he didn’t mind much. Who would’ve thought that The Great Magnus Bane (a title he came up with) would quit the party scene? Now, there were the occasional birthday bashes, nevertheless he had slowed down the crazy festivities.

One thing that changed was he had made the loft bigger, adding an extra hallway for himself and Alec, and another on the other side of the living space for Simon and Jace to have their own bedrooms. He made the living room a bit larger too, and in the kitchen he added an open bar top that separated the two rooms. Considering the loft had four people he felt like he could breathe once he made these changes.

Having Alec live with him was the greatest. He never would’ve thought having his best friend and a newborn vampire live with him would be good too. Magnus wasn’t the type of person who liked to be alone, that was half the reason he threw so many parties, he supposed.

Still. There were a few things he didn’t like. One, Jace organized _everything_. It was so neat he couldn’t find things. He liked to be organized and that was fine, but Magnus was organized chaos. There could be a pile of papers and he would come back to see it stacked, and flip out. Two, Simon was pure frantic energy. He always talked, always moved around, and it wasn’t necessarily bad, but Magnus got annoyed quickly. Simon had toned it down some thankfully. Three, all his roommates were up late. Like, later than he was. Two were Shadowhunter’s, and the other a vampire. Magnus needed his beauty sleep for crying out loud.

He honestly wouldn’t have imagined his life like this. And he wouldn’t wish it to be any different. He found himself smiling more, and laughing more, and he had Alec to thank for that. But also his new roomies.

At the moment he pretty much had the main room of the apartment to himself. He was using that time to make a simple potion for one of his clients rather than in his stuffy office. It was pretty crammed with stuff as he was the High Warlock. And sitting on the sofa, with plenty of room for his ingredients, Magnus was happy with the little things in life. Like having some time to work.

Alec was out on patrol with his sister Isabelle. They were going to be gone for a few hours, so Magnus was expecting him home late, after 1am perhaps. The past few days have been quiet, so Alec said, and Magnus didn’t feel the need to worry like he usually did when he or even Jace went out on mission.

Simon was out on a date with Raphael. That was a pretty new thing. Apparently they had been flirting for quite a while—the awkward kind of flirting, because Raphael was a bit stiff and Simon was, well, Simon—and it eventually led to Simon asking the Clan Leader out. Lucky for him, Raphael actually said yes. Magnus teased Raphael about that, endlessly coming up with new jokes. Raphael got so mad it was adorable, and Magnus wished he could blush just to see it on his face.

_“Isn’t it funny that you’re essentially dating your child?”_

_“HE’S NOT MY ACTUAL CHILD FOR THE LAST TIME. DIOS MIO.”_

_“Aw, you two are so cute! The awkward vampire couple, who knew love would blossom with my Rapha?”_

_“Magnus. I promise you I will end you if you speak of this again.”_

_“He’s much younger than you are, are you his sugar daddy? You’ve got plenty of money being the Clan Leader after all. I’m sure you buy him the most expensive blood around.”_

_“BANE. ENOUGH.”_

And Jace was in his own room, doing whatever it was he did. He had been in there for a long time, actually. Since before dinner at 7, which was 4 hours ago. Maybe he was reading a book. He saw the blonde reading a lot, mostly very early mornings with a cup of coffee, sitting on the sofa holding a worn-out paperback. He’d greet Magnus but then just go back to shoving his nose in between the pages.

Right as he was finishing up the last part of the potion, just a sliver of the person’s hair, his phone rang. The caller ID said Alexander with a bunch of kissy faces. A lot of his contacts had emoji’s unique to them. Example, Jace’s was a puppy dog face.

He bottled the potion and cleared up with a snap of his fingers, and answered the cellphone. “Alec, my love, how is patrol? Slay any monsters?”

“Magnus, can you check on Jace?”

Magnus frowned at his anxious tone. “He’s in his room. He’s been there most of the night.”

“It’s just…the bond, it feels strained. I’m not sure what’s wrong. Please?”

“Of course.”

He got up and went to the blonde Shadowhunter’s room. He knocked, and there wasn’t a reply after a few seconds pause so he opened the door. Immediately the stench of sweat slammed into his nose, as well as the acidic smell of vomit. And there was Jace, on the bed in the center wall of the room, panting, coated in a sheen of sweat. His eyes were clenched in pain.

Magnus cleaned up a pile of vomit before stepping towards the poor sick demon hunter. “Oh dear. He does not look well.” Magnus balanced the phone between his shoulder and ear, and focused on checking over Jace to see what was wrong. A blue light of his magic shinned over Jace as he figured out his symptoms.

“Magnus, what’s wrong? Is he hurt?”

“He has a fever, and he vomited too. He doesn’t look well, Alec.”

“Shit.” His voice sounded quieter, he was speaking away from the phone. “Iz, I’m leaving, have Clary take my spot if needed.” A pause, and he was back. “I’m hanging up. Be there soon.”

When Alec arrived minutes later, it was to see Magnus trying to heal Jace, who was still the same. Gasping for air as though he were drowning. Sweating through his clothes, and the sheets. His cheeks were red and his hands gripped the blankets tight enough for the knuckles to turn white.

He looked like he was dying.

“Oh, Jace…” Alec sighed. He ran his fingers through his hair soothingly, not a care about the sweat that covered his hand. “What’s wrong with him?”

“I haven’t figured that out yet. But his body is being difficult with me, resistant to my magic.”

Suddenly, Jace opened his eyes and inhaled sharply. His dilated but bleary tawny eyes found Alec’s face, and he scrunched up mouth into a grimace and weakly cried out, “Allie. Allie, need you.”

Magnus had no clue what to do about that.

_+_

Hearing _that name_ after so long made Alec freeze. Shock ran through his body first, and in his mind, memories of Jace calling that name came in quick flashes. The very last time that Alec heard himself referred to as ‘Allie’ was years ago. They hadn’t spoken of what they did together since then.

Once the shock faded, he felt an overwhelming urge to just keep Jace safe, and make sure he was taken care of. He only had one thing to do.

Turning to Magnus with pleading eyes, he put a hand on the warlocks shoulder, squeezing once. “Babe, if he’s okay for now, I need you to leave the room for a minute.”

Magnus’s was surprised. “Why?”

“Please just trust me, it’ll only be for a minute. He’s fine for now, isn’t he?” Alec asked, glancing down at Jace who was trying to sit up, mumbling the name ‘Allie’ once more. He carefully pushed him back down, and kept his hand on his parabatai’s chest.

“Well, I suppose…” Magnus frowned. “I’ve gotten his fever under control for now. Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Magnus sighed, but he nodded. He looked confused but Alec knew Magnus trusted him. “Okay. Call for me when you need me.” He kissed his lips sweetly and closed the door behind him.

“Alliiiiee,” Jace whined, still reaching for him. His hands shook with the effort to try and tug Alec down. “Need you.” He was panting, and his golden eyes seemed so bright with fever.

“I’m here, buddy.”

He took off his gear until he was left in just his shirt and pants. Then he pushed Jace aside to crawl into the bed next to him, thankful that Magnus had cleaned away the sweaty bed sheets and pillows, and pulled him back in close, the blonde whining in pain at the movement. Alec hushed him, placing Jace’s head down onto his chest, letting his fingers card through the sweaty locks. He instantly calmed down a bit, relaxing into the comforting touch.

The last time he took care of Jace was when he was probably 12 years old, and Alec was 13. Back then, Jace took on the persona of a toddler, or even near an infant like age. Alec might not have been as mature as he was now, obviously, but he could look after Jace well enough. It just took a little comfort, which Alec was happy to provide that to Jace whenever he needed to be reassured he was good, or when he was injured and wanted a little cuddle or play with some mundane toys.

Jace groaned again, curling his body into Alec’s in what looked like a very uncomfortable way. “Hurts…” he said, tilting his face up to stare at Alec. He blinked slowly.

“What hurts, Jace?”

“Tummy…head…all over…” He put his fingers in his mouth, but Alec quickly pulled them out.

“Bud, how old are you?” he wondered.

“I’m 4, Allie,” he said like Alec was stupid. Then he clenched his hands in Alec’s shirt, and whined.

And that was enough for Alec. “Well, would you be okay if I bring back Magnus? He’ll be able to help you.”

“’kay.”

_+_

When he heard his name being called back in, Magnus was quick to enter the bedroom once more. He was worried for Jace. The blonde was important to Magnus. He was Alec’s best friend, and he had turned into one of Magnus’s good friends, too. He felt an urge to watch over him, and keep him from any harm. He felt the same towards Simon as well, perhaps more than Jace or even Alec, given that he was younger and more naïve to this world still.

Coming back into the bedroom, he did not expect to see this. Alec and Jace, cuddling. And Jace looked like he was enjoying it a lot, despite being so ill.

“Hey, Mags,” Alec said with a sort of tired happy smile. He kept his fingers in Jace’s hair, the blonde looking content. “Can you see if you can heal him a bit more? He’s not doing so well.” He looked down at his parabatai with love.

Magnus always adored their bond, and this moment was very sweet. So he focused on Jace, who looked scarcely improved from minutes prior. “Of course, darling.”

“Maggy, I hurt,” Jace said.

Magnus was taken aback. Yet again, something else unexpected. This was not the Jace Lightwood he knew. Not only by the word ‘Maggy’ but the way he said it, so sweet and delicate. This Jace was softer, and in his eyes there was purity like that of something new to the world.

The shock must’ve been evident on his face because all Alec did was sigh. “Magnus, I’ll explain later.”

And that was good enough for the Warlock. He saved his questions for a later time. So, he went onto healing Jace. “Where does it hurt the most?” he asked, standing beside the bed.

Jace pointed to his stomach. “Here.”

He let Jace stay laying on Alec, and did a body scan, blue light falling from his fingertips. Jace ‘ooh’ed at that, and both Alec and Magnus chuckled. Then he frowned at what he found.

“What? What’s wrong, Magnus?” Alec asked, anxious.

He got serious, eyes flashing bright in focus. “He’s got a small amount of demon energy radiating from his stomach. I think it could be demon blood, or skin, or some fragments of whatever demon he fought last most likely.”

Alec gaped. “He went on a hunt _two days_ ago with Clary. Do you think he just suffered without telling anyone until it hit a breaking point?” Alec furrowed his brow. Jace just looked at them, not very aware of what was happening. He seemed to be fading in and out of it.

Magnus nodded. His hand still hovered over Jace’s midsection. “I believe so. That, or it just now started to affect him physically. It looks like it stuck to his stomach lining and was irritating his system, and eventually transferred to other parts of his body. It could’ve been worse in a few days…”

“How worse?”

“He…might’ve gotten so sick that he would have—” He left it at that, not daring to speak the words.

Alec just held Jace a little tighter, and the blonde grumbled but allowed the affection.

That was Jace, suffering in silence as usual. He did it all the time, and Magnus was tired of it, just like he knew Alec was as well. Tired of the same old macho man bullshit that Shadowhunters pulled. He recalled once when the blonde Nephilim attempted to hide injuries he’d been unable to heal from Magnus when he came home after being on a hunt, but Magnus found out and he healed the infected wound, and then chastised Jace right in front of Alec, who just nodded along with him in agreement. In that moment, Jace certainly must’ve looked like their child being punished.

This was almost ten times worse than that moment. Jace would’ve died if they hadn’t found out.

“No more hurts, Maggy,” Jace begged. Those yellowish-brown eyes were watery and afraid, and it tugged at Magnus’ chest. He reached for the Warlocks glowing hand, and held it weakly. “Please.”

“Of course, dear one. I’ll make all the hurt go away, I promise you.”

It took a lot of effort to drag the trace of demon from Jace. He had to isolate it first, and be careful not to hurt poor Jace any further. Alec held him tight in his arms to keep him from moving while Magnus worked the piece of demon up his system and out through his throat. He couldn’t pull it out any other way unless he wanted to harm him more. Creating a portal inside of his body would just damage his internal organs. He took his time, and Jace was crying quietly through the entire process. Magnus was concentrating on not choking him, and Alec focused on attempting to distract Jace with random questions and sooth him with small touches. However the distracted him, Jace still did not like it. No one would like to be forced to regurgitate something, let alone demon pieces.

Finally, a few minutes later, Magnus had the nasty thing out of him. He held it in a small field of blue magic. Barely a small sliver of skin, a fleck, but it did a lot of damage. With a snap he got rid of it, and smiled at the two on the bed. “There, you should be fine in a day or so.”

Jace sniffed. “Thank ‘ou.”

Magnus grinned. “You’re welcome. I think you need to sleep now, hon. Alec, let’s leave him be. Rest is all he can do now.”

Alec said goodnight to Jace and kissed him on the forehead and waited in the doorway. Magnus was going to follow after saying the same, but Jace looked at Magnus, tired eyes blinking adorably big at him, expecting the same from him by the looks of it. So Magnus did it, he kissed Jace Lightwood’s head goodnight. He had absolutely no regrets about doing so, either.

Alec held in a laugh watching that, cheeks red in delight. But Magnus could tell he was happy. Happy that Jace was going to be okay.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Backstory on Jace and Alec's relationship as told by Alec, and introducing Simon and Raphael

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've got a bit of backstory and the start of Saphael ! I hope you enjoy!

“So,” Magnus said, taking a seat next to Alec on the sofa. He held a steaming cup of tea in his hands, and Alec held a cup of coffee in his. “Tell me what that was about.”

Alec took a giant gulp of his coffee, not caring that it was burning hot down his throat. 2am was around the corner and he definitely needed the caffeine. Not only because of the late hour, but because of what he would have to tell Magnus. He never thought that he would need to bring any of this up in conversation again. In all honesty, most of the memories he had forgotten completely until they seemed to come back to the forefront of his mind once Jace said his name like that.

To let Magnus know what they had done, it was almost like he should be embarrassed, but he wasn’t. He was just ready to tell him everything.

“Okay, it’s a sort of long story…” He looked sideways at Magnus.

The warlock nodded. “That’s fine, darling. I feel like I need to know now.”

Alec took one more sip of coffee before setting it on the table in front of him. “When I was younger and Jace came to live with us, it was obvious that he was scared of everything, it was all new to him so I understood. His life had begun to change drastically. He was standoffish and sort of rude, mischievous. But once we really got to know each other, he began to look up to me. Open up to me. I was the oldest of us all, Isabelle being the youngest, and I just felt more protective of Jace, even when Max came along. He just seemed so vulnerable and…broken. He hid behind a bravado mask. He was strong, and yes, he was and is a great Shadowhunter, but aside from that, he was a child.”

“You were a child, too,” Magnus said softly.

“I know that,” he agreed softly, staring down at his lap. “Nevertheless, he had been through _far_ worse than I had. So he eventually began coming to me for things, for help and comfort. At first it was just the small stuff, for example him having a horrible nightmare and coming to my room to sleep, or hurting his self during training and instead of going to the infirmary he’d come to me. I was always there for him, no matter what. I’d make sure he was okay, keep him out of too much trouble. I became a constant caretaker in his life.”

“And it became something else, didn’t it?"

Alec exhaled shakily, and clasped his hands together. This was the hard part. “A few months after we became good friends, he was out on a training mission with a few others. I was busy at the Institute. He came back and I saw… I saw him bleeding all over the library floor.” He closed his eyes.

_Alec was reading a book, studying for a final test on demonology, when through the large doors stumbled Jace. He was hunched over, and blood was pouring between his fingers that were gripped to his chest. The blood dribbled between the digits like a steady stream of water._

_Panic gripped Alec like a vice and he bolted to the other boy. “Jace! What happened? Why aren’t you in the infirmary?!” Alec frantically grabbed his shoulder, steadying Jace as he stumbled inside, hissing and groaning. He led him to the nearest chair and sat him down. He was about to leave to get help when Jace reached a hand out to him, coated in blood, and cried out “Allie” and passed out, head lolling over the edge._

Alec rarely cried, but thinking of that, he very nearly did. His eyes watered, and he quickly and discreetly (probably not successfully) wiped at them. “I ran for help. And he was kept in the infirmary for 2 days. Only my mother and father, aside from the doctors, could see him. They had been attacked by a Greater Demon. Jace was in there, practically… _dying_ …and-and—” Alec swallowed hard as the memories flew over him, and the emotions came with it. He never knew he could feel so intensely before. Fear, worry, anger, love. It hit him like brick after brick. He almost lost Jace before they had even bonded together.

Magnus grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “Breathe, Alec,” he whispered.

Alec took a calming breath. “Once he was almost healed, I was allowed to visit. So I went to the medical wing. He was on the bed, bandaged up and looking so pale. But smiling, with big happy eyes. I just-I just hugged him so tight, Magnus.” He smiled small. “And he hugged me back just as tight, and called me ‘Allie’ again.”

“I think it’s a cute nickname.” Magnus smirked.

Alec laughed. “Yeah. But,” he continued, “I was still very confused about what happened to Jace. I know that before we were close, and I looked after him in a different way than most would. But this was different. He had changed into a different person almost. He seemed to be acting more innocent when he came to me, and I could tell that he needed something more. He needed an authority figure, almost. So that was what I did, because I cared so much about him. Despite being a bit confused at first, I still took care of him.”

“What do you think happened to him?”

“I think that when he was injured by the Greater Demon, there must’ve been some sort of trigger in his brain, like a switch.” He shrugged. “Or it might’ve been there the whole time and he just then decided to let him out, because he fully trusted me by then.”

Alec looked to Magnus, and saw he was listening intently. “We talked about it a couple days later. Jace confessed to me that he didn’t really know why he was that way, or when it first started, but that it felt good to have someone care about him and give him their full attention. So from then on, whenever he was feeling sad or hurt or just overwhelmed, he would come to me and let himself fall into that headspace.” Eventually it turned into more than that, it was a playful time they had. Games, tickle-fights, and cuddling. But he didn’t voice those times. They were private memories that he chose to forget, and now he didn’t know what he would do with them.

“Do you not know what you two did?” Magnus asked with curiosity dancing across his face.

Alec blinked. “What?”

“Alexander, in the mundane world there is a term for this. It’s called ‘Age Play’.”

“Oh.” He frowned.

For almost all of his life, Alec was a person who took charge of situations. Yes, he was shy at times, and before Magnus he was stuck in the closet. But when it came to Shadowhunting, his job, and his family, he was strong. For _them_. Isabelle looked up to him, Jace did, and then Max, and now basically the whole Institute. He was a natural born leader, which was why he was Head of the Institute. He did miss being a “parent” to Jace. Recalling those times, where he felt happy to have that type of relationship with his not-yet parabatai, just made him feel nostalgic.

Alec vowed to always look out for Jace even when he wasn’t feeling childlike, and when Jace wasn’t in his headspace he did the same for Alec. That was just how things were for them. Now, they still watched each other’s backs. That was just what they did, who they were. Alec and Jace, parabatai and brothers, and more.

“I’m glad Jace had someone like you to watch over him.” Magnus took his hand in his own, warm and comforting, and kissed his cheek softly. “You are an amazing person, Alexander.”

“Thanks, Magnus,” he said, a blush rising to his face.

“You’re welcome,” Magnus purred. He came inches away from Alec’s face. They were about to kiss, their lips a breath apart.

Suddenly, the door flew open, and in came Simon. The energy in the room turned from burning hot, to ice cold.

_+_

Simon was having a shit night. He hadn’t felt this bad since he was turned, and this was a pretty close comparison to that moment. His face was no doubt covered in bloody tears but he didn’t care.

He was supposed to be with his boyfriend. His maker, his lover. Raphael Santiago. But instead, he was going back home where he planned on drinking at least 3 or 4 bags of blood before watching a marathon of Star Wars to make himself feel better.

When he entered the apartment, he saw Magnus and Alec siting on the sofa very close to one another about to make out. But he said nothing to them, they looked busy and he had something better and more important to do. Sulk, cry, drink lots of blood, and cry some more.

He moved quickly, but not too quick because he felt a little lightheaded from all the crying (he didn’t even know that was possible while being a vampire). He grabbed a handful of blood bags that Magnus got for him all the time from the fridge and went to his room, keeping his head down low. Avoid. He had to avoid at all costs Magnus and Alec.

“Simon,” Alec spoke softly, but firmly.

Simon turned to look at them, which was a mistake. Their eyes widened as they stared at him, probably because they saw the bloody tears tracking down his face.

“Simon,” Alec gasped.

Magnus said nothing. The warlock simply stood up and went over to Simon who stood on the other side of the sofa. He tossed the blood bags in Simon’s hands away with a quick snap, Simon gaping at the act. He needed those, he was starving and depressed, how awful and rude was that to do to him. Magnus took Simon’s hand in his own without a word, and led him to the couch. Simon went willingly; honestly, he didn’t really know what else to do.

“Here, sit down.” Magnus placed him beside Alec before sitting down on his other side, so Simon was sandwiched between them.

“What happened, Simon?” Alec asked, brow furrowed with concern.

Simon exhaled shakily. He could do this, just tell them and then go this his room. It was easy. “I-I had a date…you know, with Raph,” he said, sounding totally frazzled. The opposite of what he wanted to sound like.

“Did Raphael hurt you?” Magnus asked sternly.

Simon shook his head. “No, he didn’t,” he replied softly.

“Then what happened?”

He twiddled with his thumbs, avoiding looking at either of them. “We were supposed to have a date tonight. Spend the day and night together, just the two of us. We don’t get to do that often.” He frowned, wiping at his face. The blood was starting to dry, and itch.

“Here.” Magnus offered Simon a towel he made appear from thin air. Magic was so handy.

“Thanks.” He wiped the blood off his face, and as he finished Magnus vanished the towel in a blue mist. Still cool as hell.

“You’re welcome. Continue.”

Simon did. “So, we were about to go to dinner when another vampire, _Jeremy_ ,” he spat, “came into the room. He said there was an emergency and he needed Raphael’s help. And everyone but Raph knows that _Jeremy_ is crushing hard on him.”

_“Just don’t go,” Simon said to Raphael. They stood a foot apart from one another, dressed up in nice clothes for their date. “You promised no work tonight, remember? It’s our night.” He pouted, pleading with his eyes for him to stay, knowing how irresistible they were to Raphael._

_Jeremy watched from the entryway of the large room that served as Raphael’s office. Simon could feel his stare even as he kept his focus on his boyfriend. Tried to make him see that he wasn’t really needed for an emergency, and that Jeremy just wanted to take him away from Simon._

_Raphael didn’t even blink. He did frown a bit, and took one of Simon’s hands to hold it tight. “I know, and I’m so sorry. Just wait for me here, I promise I’ll be right back, mi sol.” Raphael kissed Simon quickly, squeezing his hand once before following the other vampire out of the room, leaving Simon in the silence. Feeling so alone._

“So he left me. For an hour. And I had enough of waiting so _I_ left.”

“Oh, honey.”

The way that Magnus said that just made Simon shudder, and try very hard not to cry. Sympathy. He didn’t want that at all. The only thing he wanted was for Raphael to understand. No. That wasn’t all. He just wanted Raphael in his arms.

“I guess,” the words caught in his throat as he spoke them, “I guess that he doesn’t love me enough.”

And the tears fell again. To hide the disgusting bloody mess falling down his face, he pressed his hands to his eyes. He felt his whole body shaking as the sobs took him over.

Simon never knew that heartbreak could feel this bad. With Clary, it was different. He never cried so hard for her when they didn’t work out. Then again, he had Maia to help him, and he did care for her until Jordan came along. That was when he really saw Raphael for who he was behind the mask, a caring, very loving person. And he fell in love so easily with him. But now, he had no one.

“Simon, that’s not true,” Magnus firmly said.

He guessed he must’ve said that out loud. Also, he thought, hearing his own name from Magnus was weird. He must really care about Simon to actually say his name instead of ‘Sherman’ or ‘Sherlock’ or ‘Shirley’. That last one was Magnus’s favorite to call him.

Through his fingers, he disagreed, “It is true,” he said through his shoulder shaking cries. Raphael couldn’t have cared that much about him, if he didn’t see what Simon was going through, what Simon meant by ‘don’t go’. He couldn’t have cared if he didn’t understand that he truly loved him and didn’t want him to leave with the other vampire. All he needed was for his boyfriend to stay, and he didn’t.

Slender fingers took his own from his face, and he was left bare, staring into Magnus’s eyes as the warlock crouched in front of him. He placed Simon’s hands on his lap, and they were soft and slender and ring-laden like always. He felt Alec’s hand on his back, a warm touch that grounded him.

“Raphael is an _idiota_ ,” Magnus said, Simon laughing dryly at the impersonation. “Honey, I know that right now you’re feeling low and distraught. He’ll come to his senses soon. Probably once he notices you’ve left the hotel.”

“Magnus is right.” Alec nodded. His hand still rubbed circles over the back of Simon’s shirt. “I bet that he’ll be rushing over here soon enough to apologize.”

Simon sniffed, wiping his face. “Yeah? Think he will?”

In that moment, Magnus’s phone began to ring from where it sat on the table. Simon saw the caller ID. It was Raphael. No doubt he was calling Magnus because Simon had turned his phone off so he could sulk in private.

“Do you want me to answer it?”

“You can if you want to…”

Magnus answered with a stone cold, “Raphael.” It was a dangerous, like a viper ready to strike. Simon didn’t know Magnus cared that much about him to speak to one of his oldest friends that way.

He listened to the other side of the conversation. He wondered if Alec could hear it, too, recalling that Shadowhunter’s had runes for almost anything.

_“Magnus, is Simon there with you?”_ He sounded frantic. Good, Simon thought. He should after what Raphael put him through.

“Yes, he is.”

_“I need to talk to him.”_

“Hm… No, I don’t think so.”

And usually Simon would laugh at the sarcasm, but not then.

_“What? Stop playing around.”_

“Listen to me, Raphael. Sheldon here is a good person. And what you did nearly broke his poor un-beating heart.”

_“What are you talking about? I didn’t—“_ The sound of a growl came through the phone, and it was frightening and loud and full of emotion that Simon couldn’t understand. _“Never mind. I want him to know that nothing happened.”_

“He knows,” Magnus said calmly, glancing at Simon with concern. “What else?”

_“Just let me talk to him. Or let me see him, I can be there in—”_

Simon shook his head with wide eyes. He did not want to see Raphael right now. Not like this.

“No,” Magnus interrupted Raphael. “You aren’t to see him until he says you can.”

_“Magnus.”_ This time, his voice was thick. _“Please.”_

Simon wanted to cry again. Because that, that right there, was his Raphael. Caring, loving. But he had to know how much he hurt Simon. And Simon needed time to think.

“No.” Simon said it aloud, just quiet enough for only Alec and Magnus to hear.

Magnus took the hint. “Goodbye, Raphael.”

The phone was set on the table. The room was silent.

“Simon?” Alec asked. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Sort of not but yeah.”

Magnus clapped his hands together, startling them both. “Well, I think you need something warm to drink. Hot cocoa?”

“Yesss,” Simon hissed out, grinning. “Sound amazing.”

And they sat on the couch, Simon with his bloody cocoa, Alec his coffee, and Magnus his tea. But someone was missing…

“Where’s Jace?” Alec and Magnus looked between one another, and Simon was confused. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah. Just sleeping off something right now.” Alec shrugged.

“Okaayy…”

Simon didn’t think that was the full story, but he had his own problems. Like what to do about Raphael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure when I'll have the next chapter up, hopefully within the week but not sure because my cat just passed away and I'm still pretty upset about it so...
> 
> Anyways, let me know what you think!! Lots of love to you all, I'm super happy people are enjoying this :))


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! Life has been hectic as usual. Anywhoozit, please enjoy this chapter which features Simon yearning for Raphael, and Jace being an idiot.
> 
> Happy reading! :))

Simon lay in bed, full of warm blood, knowing he should be sleeping. Magnus sent him off to bed, told him to rest. Instead, he was reading through his texts from Raphael that had come in when he had his phone turned off.

_Cariño I’m so sorry. Please come back to me._

_Jeremy is gone. I know it’s probably too late for that but I thought you should know._

_I wish I could turn back time and fix this but I can’t._

_Just let me know you’re okay. I hope your safe baby_

_Simon I love you and I’m sorry_

It was hard to read through every single text, because there were a lot of them. The first was sent mere minutes after Simon left the DuMort. They all said the same things. How he missed Simon, how he wanted to make sure he was all right and safe. How much he loved him. But mostly he kept saying sorry and Simon appreciated that very much, he could basically hear the sincerity in his voice.

All he could do was re-read each message and imagine how much pain Raphael must be in, knowing Simon was so far away, not responding to him hours later. If Magnus hadn’t answered his call before, what would’ve happened? Would Raphael have come over and apologized in person? And if he had, would Simon have forgiven him? Would he have left with Raphael? It was hard to imagine all the ‘what ifs’.

He sighed, rolling over in his sheets, tangling them around his body. At that moment, he noticed a notification on his phone that said he had two voicemails. He didn’t notice, too busy reading the texts.

So he listened to those, hugging his pillow to his chest, trying not to cry hearing his love’s voice.

_Bebé please answer me. I want to tell you I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you by going with Jeremy. I would never chose anyone else over you, and I realize I made a terrible mistake. We can talk about this in person. But if you don’t want to do that right now I understand. Please just pick up the phone so I know you’re safe. Te amo, Simon._

The next one, the time timestamp said it happened a few hours ago. So it must’ve been after Raphael called Magnus.

_I don’t know if you’re ever going to answer me. For whatever its worth, I am sorry. I love you more than anything and I just want you to understand that keeping you happy is more important to me than anything else, and if you’re angry at me, know it’s not your fault, it’s mine completely. For not noticing you needed me. Te amo, mi sol._

Listening to Raphael’s voice was always comforting. He would talk in Spanish and it gave Simon chills to hear all his boyfriend speak so eloquently in his home language. When he called him pet names, some words that Simon couldn’t even translate, it made him feel special. When Raphael sang, it was so beautiful. It was hard to get Raphael to sing, though. Simon loved to play the guitar and occasionally Raphael would sing with him, with some effort in getting him to even do that, but Simon knew he loved it.

Somehow, hearing his voice now, leaving these messages, it wasn’t the same feeling. His voice was heavy with something Simon knew all too well—sadness. He could feel it, too, as if they were both one half of a coin, sharing their emotions.

He needed to talk to Raphael. There was no more ignoring this.

_+_

Jace woke up feeling groggy, and he had a horrible taste in his mouth. He groaned and opened his eyes, thankful that the lights in his room were off. He hadn’t felt like this since his last birthday. Magnus threw that amazing party and--actually, he couldn’t remember what the morning after that felt like. He didn’t remember much of that night.

“Morning, sleepyhead.”

He blinked slowly, turning his head to see Alec. He was sitting beside the bed on a chair he must’ve brought in from the kitchen. Why, Jace had no idea.

He sat up slowly, with the help of Alec’s hand on his upper back. His body was a bit sore, like after a good spar. “G’morning. What time is it?” He yawned.

“Almost 10am.”

Jace cursed. Why was he still in bed? “We should be at the Institute.”

He was about to get up, when Alec pushed him down again. The blue-eyed man shook his head, a firm look on his face. Jace was confused. “No, we shouldn’t. Especially you. You’re recovering from swallowing demon parts, for angel’s sake.”

Jace frowned. What was—oh.

_“Bud, how old are you?”_

_“I’m 4, Allie.”_

With wide eyes, he looked at Alec. That was not supposed to happen. He could feel his hands start to shake, a mild panic taking him over. He had put that part of himself far, far away, closed off—or so he thought. “I—I didn’t mean to-to-to—”

Alec put his hands up and hushed him. “Hey, no, no, it’s okay. Calm down,” Alec said. He took Jace’s hands, and looked him in the eyes. “It’s all okay, Jace. Really. Just breathe.”

Jace took a deep breath. But it wasn’t that easy. Flashes of him in Alec’s arms, sick on the bed, feeling hot and sore, and of Magnus—oh angel, he called Magnus ‘Maggy’. And now he knew, didn’t he? Magnus knew what a freak he was.

Never again would he have thought that he would regress like that. It was something he did when he was younger. But not now. He didn’t need it, so why did he fall into that mentality? Why did he go back to being _that_ Jace? The one he never wanted to be again.

Looking at Alec’s worried face, feeling his hands clasped with Jace’s own, he felt terrible for making his parabatai go through this again. He never intended for Alec to have to see him like that anymore. It was why he locked away that part of himself deep in his head, and even when it knocked to be let out, he refused. Refused to be so frail, and needy, and dependent. Alec had his own life to worry about, his own problems. He no longer had to care for a 4 year old Jace Lightwood. Especially now that Jace was older.

“I’m sorry,” Jace said through rickety breaths.

Alec shook his head. “No, stop. There isn’t anything to be sorry for, Jace.”

Eventually he stopped shaking. He took his hands from Alec’s, and said nothing. The room was quiet for a moment.

Alec sighing broke the silence. “We need to talk about this. You haven’t done that since we were younger…”

“I know,” he whispered. “I never meant to do it again.”

“What? Why?” Alec sounded shocked.

Jace looked away, mumbling, “Because I figured you’d had enough of it.”

“That’s ridiculous. I never said that.”

Jace shrugged. “You have your own life, Alec. I get it. You don’t need to look out for me like that, okay?”

Alec made a hurt noise. “Jace. I never minded looking after you. I love you, and I want you to be happy. If being like that again is what you need, then I will be there for you no matter what. And you know what, Magnus will to.”

Hearing that made Jace’s heart pound. There was something about Magnus knowing that side of him that terrified Jace. Really, of anyone else knowing. He couldn’t have that. No one could know.

“I doubt that.”

“Is that you saying you want to be Little again?” Alec asked, almost hopeful in his tone.

Jace frowned. ‘Little’. It probably meant the same as regressing. “I don’t.”

Alec pursed his lips. “I know you better than you think, Jace. Actually, we both know that. So I’m asking you again. And tell me the truth.” Alec seemed to straighten up in his seat, and he looked Jace straight in the eyes. The tension in the room was palpable when he asked, “Jace, do you want to be Little again?”

And Jace didn’t answer. He couldn’t. Saying ‘yes’ meant so much more than just allowing his younger self to be freed. It was him taking advantage of Alec. He couldn’t, and wouldn’t take Alec’s time like that. Just so Jace could play, so he could feel safer and younger and less stressed. Jace was an adult. He would push this part of himself into the rearmost section of his mind and everything would be as it was. He could handle his own problems on his own.

But saying ‘no’ was a lie. Because no matter how much he said he didn’t want to be ‘Little’ like Alec said, no matter how much he denied it with all his being, there was a part of himself that was always there. Waiting, wanting desperately to get out. And if he said ‘no’, if he lied straight to Alec’s face, he knew his parabatai would be disappointed in him. And Jace didn’t know a single person on earth that wanted to see Alec Lightwood’s disappointed face.

So he said nothing.

And like he said, Alec looked disappointed. Jace’s chest hurt.

“I wish you would just be honest with yourself,” Alec said softly. “You know, when I took care of you back then, I felt…content. Why? Because _you_ were. Some days were hard, sure, but when I went to my room, and saw you there cuddling you stuffed lion—what was his name? Oh, yeah, Waldo,” he said, smiling, while Jace, oddly enough, blushed. “When I saw you like that, I just felt so glad to have you in my life. Even like that. I just thought you should know that I’d never stop caring about you.”

“Alec—” Jace was getting choked up.

“No, wait. Please.” Alec took a deep breath. “Remember when Max was born?” Jace tensed. “You loved to hold him, and tickle his ears and nose. To play silly games with him, and rock him in your arms. You used to cuddle him and put him to bed when mom was working. When he grew up, you got sad that he wouldn’t let you do that anymore.” Alec swallowed hard. “So imagine when one day, it all stops. But you don’t have the guts to ask why. You just let it go.”

“That’s enough.”

Alec shook his head. “Jace. I love you, no matter how small you feel sometimes. I need you to know that.” He stood up, and leaned over Jace to abruptly kiss his head. Jace was frozen on the spot, mouth opened and eyes saucer wide. “Don’t forget that.” He walked away, and turned at the door. “When you have an answer, let me know.” He shut the door slowly, and it clicked closed.

Jace was left there with nothing but his thoughts circling around in his head. And if a few tears fell from his eyes, there was no one around to say a word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll hopefully have chapter 4 up next Friday or sooner... Hope you liked, let me know what you thought!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace makes some decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... it's be a couple weeks.... Sorry!! Thank you to all the kudos and comments, and the bookmarks, too! I love reading the comments it makes me so happy! :))) 
> 
> Now please enjoy this chapter which is all Jace and Magnus and Alec... I promise the next chapter will be some Saphael! :D

Magnus sat on the recliner, mindlessly reading a book. He could vaguely hear mumbling of words in Jace’s bedroom. His hearing was excellent and he probably could listen in if he wanted to, but he didn’t feel it was his place to. This was a private conversation between Alec and Jace.

Minutes ago Alec had come out to grab a cup of coffee and kiss Magnus good morning, eyes sleepy and hair ruffled looking adorably sexy like always, and then he went back to where he had been since 2 in the morning. He wasn’t surprised or anything because Alec had asked if he could wait for Jace to wake up in his own room. Of course Magnus said ‘yes’, the poor blonde was going through a lot. Jace needed to have his parabatai at his side.

He wouldn’t eavesdrop, yet he couldn’t help his curiosity in what they could possibly be saying to each other.

Alec was very powerful in his words even if at times he was introverted. It was amazing the things he could say to another person to impact their lives, and Magnus didn’t think he realized it himself. That was how he knew he would get through to Jace. It was a trait that he admired so much, and it was a reason that he truly fell in love with Alec.

When it came to Jace, he was headstrong and intelligent, but he could be a quiet soul on occasion, too. Magnus found that out by living with the blonde, and he never imagined Jace Lightwood to be anything but loud and into himself. But he wasn’t. He was actually a kind-hearted person with very demanding point of view. And he wanted the ones he loved to be happy and healthy just like Alec did. They were so different, yet so alike. True parabatai.

Magnus really hoped that Jace accepted himself as a Little. If that happened, it was going to be very different around the apartment. He had a feeling that Alec would make sure Jace was well taken care of, and he knew that because Alec would make a great father. He cared deeply and showed it in the way he watched over his family and friends. Whenever Jace would fall into his headspace of however old he was, Alec would be there, and so would Magnus now. When it came to their other roommate, Simon, he did not know about how the vampire would take it. The boy was kindhearted and probably wouldn’t care either way, though.

If that didn’t happen, then he could only see that things would be going back to the way they were. He could see both parabatai walking out of that room, acting like nothing ever happened. This whole thing never to be spoken of again. And that would upset Magnus a great deal, but he knew it was doubtful. Jace seemed to need this regression. And also, seeing Jace as a ‘Little’ would be fascinating to watch. He instantly pictured Jace in footed pajamas cuddling a plush toy, and smiled. It was an adorable image.

He wanted to help Jace. Not that he wouldn’t help him, the blonde just made it difficult with his sarcastic remarks and tough personality sometimes to _give_ help. Magnus knew it wasn’t his fault. The young man had a painful past, and he deserved happiness however he could get it.

Magnus was pulled from his thoughts by a squeaky door. He glanced over to see Alec stepping out of Jace’s room. He heard him say, _“When you have an answer, let me know._ ” Then Alec shut the door softly.

“How did it go?” Magnus asked. His eyes followed Alec as he sat on the sofa. He was still in his sweatpants and T-Shirt that he wore the night before, while Magnus was dressed for the day in his usual flamboyant attire, rings and make-up of course.

“Not good.”

Magnus moved from the recliner to sit beside him. “I’m sorry, darling. Hopefully Jace will change his mind.” His fingers found their way into Alec’s hair, and he absently traced them over his head and through soft dark strands in a soothing motion.

Alec leaned into him, closing his eyes. He was tired no doubt, he had hardly slept all night. “Me too. But I expected this, either way.”

“Really?” He paused his fingers.

“Yeah. Jace is…hard to get through to. It’ll take time.”

Well, Alec knew Jace better, after all. “How long do you think?”

Alec hummed. “Not sure.”

A door creaked open, and they both looked over to the sound. Magnus wasn’t expecting Jace to come out at all, not for hours at least, perhaps not even until tomorrow. The fact that he was even leaving the bedroom meant something good. Hopefully.

Magnus’ hands fell from Alec’s hair, and he waited for what would happen next.

Jace stepped out slowly. The way he stood was haunting, in the dark shadows of the hall.

“Jace?” Alec stood up, and stepped to stand closer to Jace. “Are you okay?”

The blonde said not a word. He walked to them, dragging his feet over the carpet, and seeing how eloquent he was on his feet usually this was a drastic change. Coming into the light, Magnus saw tears. Actual tears in his eyes, running down his cheeks and dripping over his chin. Jace Lightwood was crying.

Magnus stood, ready for anything. He was prepared for Jace to do something, like faint. He was prepared for Jace to bawl and beg to be Little again. But he didn’t do either of those things.

“I’m sorry, Alec.” The tears fell gradually, and he didn’t sob, or even bat an eyelash. It was like he was unaware of them at all.

“Jace, no, it’s—” Alec paused, and sighed. “Just come here.” Alec held out his arms, and Jace walked right into them, hands still at his sides.

Alec put his arms around the shaky shoulders, pushing him down gently to sit on the couch. “Magnus, help me,” Alec pleaded.

He stepped in quick. Crouched in front of Jace, he summoned a blanket, draping it over him and securing it around his shoulders. He wiped his wet cheeks with smooth fingers tracing over his warmed face, the blonde letting him without trying to stop him. “Are you feeling all right?” he asked in a soft voice. Jace might still be feeling side-effects, so he wanted to double check just in case.

Jace nodded slowly, his blonde locks curled over his cheekbones. His eyes shimmered liquid gold and his lower lip pouted downwards. He sniffled a bit, blinking away stray tears. He didn’t seem to be in shock or sick which was good. He looked like a sad puppy, though, and it broke Magnus apart.

“Hmm. Well,” he said, looking at Alec, who stood beside them, a hand on Jace’s shoulder, “I think it’s best if we all have a talk.”

Jace made a frustrated noise. “I’m tired of talking.” And he threw the blanket off himself after he balled it up, and it landed halfway across the room on the floor. Magnus blinked. That was rude.

“Jace.” Alec frowned down at the blonde, his brows furrowed in concern.

Suddenly, Jace snapped. He looked pissed off. “No. This—whatever this is, I can’t stop it, don’t you get that? I wish I could. I wish desperately that I could just push this _freakish_ part of myself far, far away. You don’t get what this is like for me!” He quickly scrubbed at his face with frantic hands, and when he looked at Magnus, his eyes were desolate. “I wake up, I feel altered, like a new person, but I’m not, I’m still me. Still the same and yet I feel so _helpless_.” He clenched his hands on his lap, hard enough that Magnus thought there would be marks in his skin. “I hate it. So I lock it away. It doesn’t help me at all, and in the end all it does for me is make me totally miserable.” He seemed out of breath, then, and clenched his hands tighter into fists, brushing up and down on his sweatpants as an almost nervous gesture.

Magnus calmly took Jace’s hands apart, keeping them in his so he didn’t hurt himself. There were indents on his palms and he healed them before he spoke, rubbing his fingers over his knuckles gently. “Darling, you’re pushing away a part of yourself that’s supposed to be there. _You aren’t a freak_.”

Magnus knew exactly what being a ‘freak’ was. For most of the beginning years of his life, he would call himself a monster. He would hide his eyes, and try to keep his true self far away from the on-looking of others. He knew what it felt like to hate yourself. He knew what it felt like to be despised, and instead of showing your true self, hiding it, and loathing it. Eventually it would just catch up to you and you would fall down a dark pit.

“But you can do something to help me, can’t you?” Jace asked with begging eyes, ignoring what Magnus said to him completely. “Help me… forget…”

Alec sucked in air through his teeth. He, like Magnus, knew what Jace was asking. “No, that’s not happening,” he steadfastly said.

Magnus sat next to Jace, letting go of his hands, and took a deep breath before speaking out to the room. “Understand this: you cannot lock this up in your mind. I absolutely refuse to do that with any spell. You saw how it worked out for Clarissa and I will not subject you to that, or myself or Alexander for that matter.”

“Magnus, please…” Jace begged once more, his eyes watering again.

And wasn’t that the worst part of this. Having to say no to Jace, a person with the ability to make Magnus do what Jace wanted simply because he was feeling desperate and upset and asked for some help. When it came to the people he held in close regard, Magnus would do anything in his power to make them happy. Magnus would always help Jace when he asked. But not this way. Not by forcing memories away, or forcing a piece of his own soul away. Thankfully, Alec agreed with him.

“No,” Alec answered firmly. “He will not.” Then Alec sat next to Jace, and he was sandwiched between both Magnus and Alec. “I will not allow that. Now listen to me. We are talking about this no matter how much you beg and plead me not to. And yes, I know it’s hard, especially with Magnus here, to talk about this sort of thing, but he can help you, too. We care about you so much, Jace.” He put his hand on Jace’s thigh once to rub it softly, and in his eyes there was unending love.

Magnus just wanted to reach across Jace and hug Alec for the truth he just spoke.

“Alec is right that I do care about you, Jace. You know that, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I do,” Jace replied, pursing his lips. There was something in the tone of voice that told Magnus that Jace was finally starting to realize that Magnus truly didn’t care that he was a Little.

Alec spoke again. “Is it so hard to let me do what we did before? Is it so difficult to just _be who you are_?”

Jace paused, thinking for a quick second. Then, he said, “Yes.”

“Why?” Magnus asked.

Jace turned to him, and glared, though with wet eyes and a flushed face it was cute rather than rude. “I don’t like it. Now stop trying to be my therapist, Bane.”

Magnus smiled kindly. “Ah, last names now? Well, let me tell you something then, _Lightwood_. Alec loves you. I care for you as well. And you can be whoever you need to be, even if you claim to hate it.” Magnus knew that wasn’t true, because the small amount of time where he had seen Little Jace, he knew that he couldn’t hate himself. He was far too happy even when he wasn’t feeling well. “The only thing that I want for you to absorb into that thick skull of yours, is that you will _always_ have me here, and Alec here, to take care of you. To keep you safe and happy and to give you whatever you want or need. When you finally start to accept yourself for who you are it will be a truly magnificent sight to see. Jace Lightwood, a fierce Shadowhunter, an amazing brother and parabatai, and an adorable Little.”

He could see the gears turning in Jace’s head. He was a quick and bright thinker on the spot. Magnus only hoped he made the right choice.

“So… Did you come out here with an answer?” Alec asked softly.

_When you have an answer, let me know._

The air was thick with tension but Magnus felt hope in there, too. The question was clear as day and to Magnus it was an easy answer. For Jace, the reply was unquestionably harder to say.

The blonde Shadowhunter was stiff between them, and their thighs didn’t touch or their arms, and the space in between each of them was miniscule. Nevertheless, in that moment it felt as if they were miles apart. Each of them waiting patiently for the younger to reply, hopeful that the right choice would be made.

Jace’s eyes, those same golden orbs that captivated Magnus in the way they observed and considered, were clear in what was going to happen. He knew then, while glancing to his side at Jace to look into his eyes, what he was going to say to Alec’s question. Many said that eyes were the window to the soul and in those glistening eyes Magnus saw a side of Jace begging to be let loose. Perhaps the question wasn’t so difficult after all.

Jace licked his lips. He inhaled deeply before speaking. “I know I’m safe with you, Alec. I feel the same being here with you and Magnus and Simon. More than I do at the Institute or anywhere else. So I want a promise that if I agree to this, that it stays within these walls.” He looked to Magnus, waiting, expression resolute and yet innocent.

“Of course,” Magnus replied. “Whatever you want.”

Alec nodded quickly. “Yes, I agree to that, too.”

Jace exhaled slowly, visibly reassured. He closed his eyes, and Magnus was sad to see them hide when he finally said what Alec had been waiting for, what Magnus had been waiting for. “Okay… I’ll do it. I’ll be… Little… again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It'll be a couple weeks before the next part is up :(( I'm working on a few other things I have to finish and start but I promise by Halloween I'll have posted something!! :))) 
> 
> LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! LOVE YOU ALL <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooo!! :) I know it's been a few weeks but I did promise a new chapter before Halloween so here you go!

Jace Lightwood was one of the most caring and brave people Magnus had ever had the pleasure of meeting. He was also arrogant, and somewhat narcissistic, but both those qualities Magnus was as times, too. Jace was one of the greatest Shadowhunter’s of his time (don’t let him hear it, thought, or he’d get an even thicker head). Intelligent, sarcastically funny, and quite adorable like a puppy dog sometimes when he wanted something (and Magnus gave, always). He kept his family safe and protected them with all his being even if it meant stupidly sacrificing his own health and safety.

He was many things, yes, but showing his vulnerable side… well, _that_ was not the Jace Lightwood Magnus knew.

To be Little took some semblance of vulnerability. Jace would have to rely on them, follow rules, he would expose a more innocent side. He would have to be aware that Magnus and Alec were in charge and listen to them. Although, it would be difficult for Magnus to resist those begging eyes, he might be a goner if Jace used them (he was already and the boy wasn’t even a Little around him yet).

The sad thing was that for years now he had repressed his younger self. He had said that when he felt himself dropping, he would shove it into a dark part of his mind and ignore it. And Magnus didn’t want him to do that anymore. Magnus wanted Jace to embrace his Little side, and show it off. Be flamboyant about it like Magnus was with his own self. Jace said he felt weak, helpless. Miserable. All these things that he shouldn’t be feeling, let alone when he felt himself regressing. It made Magnus feel awful knowing he was suffering for so long.

So he was truly a courageous person, because despite how much it hurt him, and even with all of the things he said he hated about being Little, he still agreed. Magnus was sure that had to do with how much he trusted Alec, and Magnus hopefully, too. It seemed that the fearless rune didn’t even need to be put on him.

The warlock was honored that he would be a part of this, and that he would get to see a side of Jace that only Alec got to see. Really, though, he couldn’t wait for Jace to go into his headspace. The blonde was probably going to be a rambunctious child, but that was where the fun came into play. They would have their hands full.

Magnus was practically giddy he was so excited.

Jace didn’t seem as thrilled. He was simply quiet, and very still. He pointedly avoided looking at anyone. But he wasn’t tense.

There wasn’t a single word said, until Magnus decided to break the silence with a sentence he just had to get out. “We are so proud of you, Jace.” 

Jace jumped in surprise. Whether it was at the sudden words, or the actual words said themselves, was unknown. He barely glanced up from his lap until Magnus could see his face just so, and said in a small voice, “Really?”

Magnus smiled. He placed his hand over one of Jace’s, and squeezed once. “Yes, very proud. I believe in the concept of an inner child, you know. The notion that there’s something deep inside of us that still craves to be given attention. Maybe even from things denied to us when we were younger.”

Magnus knew that might have to do with what Jace’s life was before he met the Lightwoods. And that was a life filled with abuse. His inner child obviously needed looking after, and that was where the Age Play came in. It was a release of his other self, one that needed to be freed and loved and played with, and given guidelines to follow to keep safe and content and healthy.

When Jace was a kid, he never got to really _be_ a kid. Valentine, while pretending to be his father, had mistreated him verbally and physically. Anyone who knew Jace, knew of what Valentine had done to him. It wasn’t as bad as what he had done to his ‘other son’, thankfully, because that had turned out badly for him, but it was still abuse, and it still hurt Jace.

Despite how much it seemed like that didn’t bother the blonde Shadowhunter, Magnus knew that wasn’t true in the slightest. Jace didn’t want to be that ‘put together’ person. He wanted to get away from the adult responsibilities. He wanted to get away from having to pretend to be okay all of the time. He wanted someone else to do that hard work while he focused on being happy. That was why his mind turned to acting like a kid. Alec had said Jace only started being Little after he had arrived at the New York Institute. That was when his abusive life was gone, but stressful duties still remained. He was constantly held back being a Shadowhunter. There was endless urgency and nonstop pain, and Magnus wanted Jace to be able to have the opposite of that. He wanted him to be happy, to laugh and play. Jace craved to be allowed the freedom to not worry about trivial things and focus on childish things, and Magnus was desperate to give him that.

“Thank you,” Alec said. Jace was confused as he turned to look at Alec, tilting his head in an adorable manner. “For allowing me to do this for you again.” He smiled and took Jace’s other hand. “For letting _us_ take care of you.”

The three of them sat there on the sofa, in silence, holding the blonde’s hands. Content to just be.

_+_

“I’ll meet you at the hotel, okay?”

“No. Let’s go to my apartment so we can have some privacy. I don’t want the clan to hear all of our personal problems.”

Simon sighed. Yeah, he really didn’t want Lily to find out they were in a bit of a ‘couples spat’ because she would tell the others. Once they all found out, he would never hear the end of it. Really, most of his friends and the DuMort were like little kids. But they were always there for him and he was glad to have them.

“Okay. I’ll see you soon, Raph.”

“See you soon, bebé.”

Simon hung up the phone before he got emotional from hearing the pure love in his boyfriend’s voice.

He quickly got dressed from his PJ’s that he had put on, changing into his basic shirt and jeans with a jacket that belonged to Raphael, a dark green jean jacket that honestly did not really even belong in the older vampires closet. He did not even wear jean jackets so Simon stole it and he really never noticed. Usually stealing his clothes resulted in being reprimanded for taking clothes without permission. His boyfriend was such a fashionista, it was hilarious and cute.

Raphael hardly ever stayed at his apartment. He was the Leader of the New York Vampire Clan so his duties kept him busy and staying at the hotel was just easier. But on occasion when they didn’t want the whole clan to hear them have sex, or they wanted privacy because his clan was very into everyone’s business—then again, with advanced hearing it was kind of hard _not_ to be—he and Simon went to his private place that was just a few blocks from the Hotel DuMort to get away from it all, called Pointe Place.

It was a nice place, very extravagant. A large living room with hardwood floors, rugs of all kinds covering the floors. The kitchen was far too large which made zero sense because they didn’t eat much, and the master bedroom was fancy, with a chandelier and fireplace. Even the bathroom was nice. A Jacuzzi tub took up most of the space, and the floors were heated. Simon wished Raphael stayed there more often so he could enjoy that bathtub and the jets that came with it. They had plenty of fun with those.

He left the loft just before 3am. The others were still asleep and he didn’t want to wake them, so he crept quietly out the door to avoid doing just that. He didn’t leave a note because they would probably know where he was going anyways after what had happened.

The run there was quick, and the streets quiet and cold and dark. But he saw everything. No Shadowhunters, but he guessed it was past their ‘Hunting time’ or whatever.

The apartment was on the top floor—rather, it _was_ the top floor—of a fancy looking hotel at the corner of a couple nice blocks of buildings and businesses. It was so different from the run-down DuMort. Still, it was another place to call home, and he treasured it despite how it looked on the outside.

Simon knew the code for the elevator to take him all the way up, luckily, or he’d have to ask for it from the front desk, and he didn’t want to talk to anyone but Raphael at the moment.

The elevator seemed to take forever. The music was annoying. And all he could think of was what he would say, and of what Raphael would say.

Finally it stopped and opened to his floor. The front door was right outside and he took out his key that he was given by Raphael and unlocked it. “Raph? I’m here.” He took off his coat, and hung it on the rack in the corner by the closet.

He walked in, and looked around for him, frowning as he noticed he wasn’t there. The curtains were drawn shut because it was close to dawn. They were the best blackout curtains a vampire could buy. The lamps and lights were dim or off. Except in the hallway, he noticed one was bright and it came from the bedroom door, which was ajar.

He came around the corner and saw Raphael taking a drink of blood from a tall glass, and setting on the dark wooden table by the far wall under the largest window. Then, turning to face Simon after he did, and his eyes looked him up and down.

Simon did the same, like they hadn’t seen each other in days. So much changed in such a short time. He looked awful, really, at least all but in body. His clothes were casual, a long sleeved black V-neck sweater that defined his arms and chest, and dark black jeans that were basically painted on. Raphael’s curly black hair was unkempt, like he’d been messing with it in frustration waiting for Simon to arrive, and that was probably true because Simon had been doing the same the entire ride up to the top floor. Yet, even disheveled, Raphael was truly angelic for a vampire.

“Hi,” Simon said shyly, waving once.

Raphael smiled, albeit small. “Hello, bebé.”

Simon shivered visibly. He glanced to the bed, and nodded at it. “Let’s sit and talk?”

Raphael nodded. “Si.”

They sat on the canopy bed that was in the center of the room. The large hearth was lit and it cast a glow over the room, and shadows on their faces. Simon would be cuddled close to him if things had gone differently, but now they simply sat side by side at the edge of the bed, facing the fireplace, watching it flicker. Maybe they would’ve been naked by now, in the afterglow of sex, and Simon would be bruised from Raphael’s rough hands on his skin, and his ass sore. Maybe they would be drinking blood together curled on the rug in front of the fireplace, or maybe they wouldn’t even be in this room at all.

He couldn’t take the silence anymore. So, his stupid self just decided to blurt out what he was feeling. “I was jealous. There, I said it. I don’t know if anything was going on but obviously you didn’t see the way he was coming onto you all the time. And it hurt me, Raph. It hurt me a lot.” Simon paused, like he was going to take an unneeded breath after spitting that out in one go. His hands had made gestures that didn’t even make sense to what he was saying, but it felt good to let go. “I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you,” he said softer and slower then, and out of the corner of his eye he saw the older vampire’s jaw clench. “Yeah… I loved Clary, sure. But I think I only loved the idea of us. Then you came along, and helped me so much when I became a vampire. You taught me what was right and wrong, and I fell in love easily once I realized how much you meant to me. So it hurt me deeply to see you ignore me for—for _him_. I know it wasn’t anything big, it was just a little date, but still… it meant a lot to me to spend time with you.”

Raphael stared at Simon. His face might’ve seemed cold to others, but Simon saw everything. Saw it in the slight change of his thin brows, and the way his lips pressed together tightly. He wasn’t mad, he was upset.

“I love you, Simon. I’m so sorry if you ever doubted that.”

“No, no, no, I never _ever_ did!” Simon exclaimed, and he stood and turned to face Raphael. “You have no idea how much I love you, and of course I know you love me. Doubt isn’t the issue here. Please, don’t think I’m breaking up with you or anything, I just needed space, and time to think.”

He had a split second thought of breaking up with Raphael, but for something like this? For something so small, Simon would give up love? No, not in a million years. He would always try and work it out, especially for Raphael. He had literally saved Simon’s life.

Raphael stayed sitting, but looked to Simon with passion. “You don’t have to be jealous of anyone else because what is true for you, is also true for me. You are my only love, my soulmate. I—” He froze, and avoided Simon’s face for a quick second, before determinedly staring into his brown eyes with his own deep dark black. “I knew about Jeremy and his infatuation with me. I had talked to him before, and I thought it was dealt with. But I can see it wasn’t.”

Simon frowned. “Why didn’t you say anything to me?”

Raphael looked almost embarrassed. “You had other things to worry about, mi amor. But from now on, I will tell you everything. The first being that Jeremy is no longer welcome near me, or you.”

“You kicked him out of the clan?!”

Raphael winced, and Simon felt bad for shouting. “No, I didn’t ban him from the clan. He just isn’t allowed to talk to me, or to you, or even be in the same room. If he has anything to say to me he will tell Lily and she will inform me.”

Simon sighed. That was better than having Jeremy out on the streets. He didn’t have anybody, as far as Simon knew. Yeah, he was crushing on his man, but that didn’t mean he didn’t care what happened to him. Simon still had a heart, sort of.

“So… I’m sorry I left. I should’ve stayed, and we could’ve talked this through earlier. It was a stupid argument anyways. I trust you with my life, you know. I should’ve trusted you with this.”

Raphael smiled. “And I’m sorry, too. For leaving to do business on _our_ night. For not seeing that you were distraught. I swear to you this won’t happen again. I love you.” His dark eyes sparkled.

“I love you, too.” Simon smiled.

He took a step forward, and leaned down a bit until he was face-to-face with Raphael. They made out sweetly for a quick second, Simon enjoying the feel of Raphael’s lips on his. Then his hands circled his hips, and Simon was brought down onto Raphael’s lap, straddling him. He quickly got his bearings, and wrapped his arms around the older vampire’s shoulders.

“Simon.”

“Hm?”

“Let’s go on that date.”

Simon blinked in surprise. “What? It’s nearly sunrise, you can’t leave the apartment now.”

Raphael must’ve forgotten, which was shocking. Maybe Simon’s kisses were _that_ good. “Well, then, I have a better idea.” He grinned, fangs dropping suddenly. Simon’s dick twitched in his pants. “We can skip to the exciting portion of the date.”

“Oh, like taking me to dinner or to a movie isn’t nice and exciting?” he teased.

Raphael rolled his eyes, still grinning. He squeezed Simon’s hips, making him squeak. “Idiota. I meant,” he continued, speaking low and with a very seductive tone into Simon’s ear, “why don’t we fuck on this bed, then in front of the fire, and then in the Jacuzzi. I want to be inside of you and feel you _everywhere_ in this house.”

Simon could’ve blushed, instead he moaned loudly. “Fuck. Yeah, sounds good to me.” He rolled his hips down, feeling how hard Raphael was. It was thick in his jeans, and Simon felt his own dick throb.

Raphael hissed. Time to show Simon just how much he was loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know your thoughts! Kudos make me happy :))


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A regular morning with Magnus, Alec, and Jace.... and Simon hears something he probably shouldn't have...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay confession is that this is very roughly edited so if you see any mistakes please ignore it or you can let me know and I'll fix it. I was just so happy to finally have written something to post for this after 4 months okay lol
> 
> Enjoy~~ :D

The morning began for Jace like it usually did: early. He woke up around 7am, sore and groggy from a long patrol with Alec the night before. Alec told him because of that they got today off duty and he was pretty happy about that.

He showered, got some remains of blood out of his hair—which, gross, not his lovely blonde locks—and dressed in soft pants and a T-shirt rather than the usual gear. He brushed his teeth, dried his hair, made his bed, and grabbed his copy of The Iliad to read after breakfast, and exited his bedroom. Then he sat on the couch, ate some protein bars and drank some coffee, and once that was gone, he felt… empty. He didn’t feel like reading, or watching TV anymore. He would usually go for a morning run when he felt bored, but he wasn’t feeling up to it for some reason. There was an itch under his skin sort of…

He glanced to Alec and Magnus’ door, and hummed, wheels turning in his head. They were sleeping in late today, it seemed. Alec usually got up around the same time as Jace, or a little later. And that wasn’t fair, now was it? He was already awake, so that meant that Alec should be, too.

He quickly peeked in Simon’s room, he didn’t want to disturb the vampire because he slept during the day mostly now. Seeing that he was gone and probably with Raphael, Jace decided it was time for the couple to get up.

So, with a huge grin and a sparkle in his eyes, he slammed open their door and shouted, “ALEC! MAGNUS! IT’S TIME TO GET UP!”

The room was dark, but Jace could see the two lumps close on the bed jump in surprise, blankets flying around, and Magnus’ magic lit up the room. Alec was groaning, and he looked a mess as he grabbed a pillow and covered his head. Magnus was without makeup but Jace had seen him like that before, and he looked pissed off. Jace laughed at that look on his face.

“What the f—JACE?!” Magnus screamed, blinking at the Shadowhunter in the doorway grinning like a loon.

“It’s time to get up,” Jace said, crossing his arms and raising a brow.

Alec groaned, peeking out of his pillow to speak. “By the angel, Jace, let us sleep. I gave us the day off just for that. So we can _rest_ ”

“You said nothing about that. Besides, you know I’m a morning person.”

Magnus sighed dramatically. He sat up on the bed, yawned, and pulled Alec up to do the same, the man whining as he did. The warlock looked at Jace with clearer eyes, and his lip twitched. “It looks like he was bored waiting for us to wake up, dear.”

“Hn.” Alec wiped down his face with his hands, and got a good look at Jace. The blonde pursed his lips. Alec’s face gave nothing away, as usual. He just nudged Magnus, and said, “Well, it think I know what to do for that. The cure for boredom, what was it again?”

“Hm, oh yes, that’s right, I nearly forgot.” He snapped his fingers, and Jace was pulled across the room and pinned to the bed with magic, “tickling is the cure!”

“Ah! Stop, Magnus, nooo!!” Jace was a laughing mess in seconds, his face red and stomach tight.

Alec moved to sit on the bed cross-legged, just to get a good view of Jace and Magnus. Which, Jace thought, was very rude, but he didn’t have any air to say anything about it because Magnus was tickling the breath from his lungs.

“I’ll get you!”

“Noo! Stop!” Jace giggled.

Alec grinned. “Magnus knows all the good spots to get you!”

Jace was forced to just lay there and take it, and really, he actually didn’t struggle all that much because he realized he kind of did just want some attention. He was a bit lonely just waiting for them to get up, and no doubt they would’ve slept in for another couple hours if Jace hadn’t done something about it.

“Uh oh, looks like he’s spacing out, you’re clearly not doing your job right, Mags.”

“Tut, I guess I’ll have to amp it up or…”

Focusing back in to see Alec hovering over him, grinning with all his teeth, and Magnus’s magical fingers barely touching his sides and tummy anymore, Jace tensed in preparation.

“You want me to take over and tickle the little one?” Alec asked, but with a bit of tease in his tone.

Magnus attacked with fervor then, like he was offended of him not doing his “job” properly, and Jace cried out in glee, a voice he didn’t even recognize came from him. Then he choked on his own spit, and Magnus stopped suddenly.

Alec frowned, and Magnus asked, “Sweetheart, are you okay?” He ruffled Jace’s hair. “Did I go too far?”

And Jace felt… electric, and euphoric. He just let go, let all his tense energy slip away. He smiled, and said, “Maggy, I’m okay.”

Magnus smiled back. “If you’re sure, baby.”

“Uh-huh, ‘m good!”

_+_

Alec was content. Having Jace here, finally accepting this piece of himself, and Magnus, the love of his life, accepting them both. He was so, so happy to have this life. And lucky, too, to have them in his.

“What did you have for breakfast, darling?”

“Protein bars,” Jace said sheepishly. He sat up from the bed, and rubbed his belly.

Alec almost rolled his eyes. Jace probably thought that was a decent breakfast, too. It had energy and vitamins, but it wasn’t filling at all.

“Well, that’s not a good breakfast. I’ll make us some pancakes.” Magnus stood up from the bed, throwing on his robe over his boxers. He didn’t seem to care that Jace was in the room, on their bed, while they were half naked. Alec thought that was actually pretty nice.

“Blueberry?” Jace softly asked.

Magnus clapped his hands. “Splendid idea! C’mon, let’s go to the kitchen.” He held out his hand for Jace, who took it after a couple seconds, and pulled him to stand. “Get dressed Alec, and meet us for pancakes.” He blew him a kiss as he dragged Jace away.

Alec chuckled in the empty room, and yawned as he got dressed in his softer clothes. It was a stay in day, and he was thankful to be Head of the Institute or he might not have been able to take today off. But they only had a few hours of sleep and wouldn’t have been much use. He was planning a nap later already.

Walking into the kitchen, he could faintly hear Simon in his room. He looked to the door but he probably didn’t want to be bothered because he had it shut and his lights weren’t on. Alec let him be, and promised to check on him later to see if he needed any blood. The daylighter didn’t take care of himself that well.

Magnus was actually making the pancakes, Jace helping him. Their fingers were blue, and Jace kept stealing them to eat.

“Not yet, we have to put them in the pancakes first,” Magnus said with a grin.

Soon enough, they were eating. It was delicious. Alec had four, Magnus three, and Jace had three as well. Then, they relaxed on the sofa watching reality TV for a while. An hour or so passed by, then two, and they were all really into the show, arguing about their favorite person and who was right and wrong. Alec wasn’t a huge fan of TV a lot of the time, but this he could get used to.

Eventually the doorbell rang, and Magnus announced he would get it.

“Guess who came to visit?” said a feminine voice they all knew.

“Clary!” Jace exclaimed. He stood and hugged the redhead hello, Alec doing the same. “What are you doing here?”

She shrugged. She was in her gear, and her hair was tied up nicely. Alec realized she was probably on a break from the Institute. “Just came to check on you two for a quick sec. Izzy told me you were staying home today so I was making sure you weren’t hurt badly.”

Jace shrugged. “I’m me, what do you expect?”

That was Jace, cocky and rightfully so. He was one of their best Shadowhunter’s, and Alec’s main person at the Institute to go to if he needed something or if anything was wrong.

“So all your bones were broken?” she teased.

Jace rolled his eyes with a smile, and nudged her shoulder. “Funny, Fray.”

“I agree, it was,” Alec seconded, and he fist-bumped Clary, Jace pouting at them both.

Magnus shook his head at them all, “Children, please, you all constantly need me to heal you.”

“He isn’t wrong,” Alec said.

“I never am.”

Clary glanced around, and asked, “Is Si home?”

Jace tilted his head to the bedrooms. “Yeah, he’s in his room.”

“I’m gonna go say hi, but then I have to go. I just wanted to see how Jace and Alec were doing but I have a date to go on after training the newbies.” She flinched and made a face after she said it.

Magnus gasped. “A date?! Clarrisa, you’re dating someone? Who is it?”

Alec frowned. “Yeah, I don’t remember seeing you with anyone at the Institute.”

“It’s, ah, very… new…” She blushed.

Jace frowned. “Clary, who is it?”

She shook her head, and smiled. It didn’t reach her eyes. Alec wondered what was wrong, but he didn’t have a chance to ask. “I’ll let you guys know if it goes anywhere.” And she knocked on Simon’s door, and entered. But she didn’t stay long inside. She came back out. “He’s not here.”

“Oh, maybe he left?” Magnus frowned. “I’ll text Raphael.” He pulled out his phone, and messaged the Clan Leader. A second later he got a message back. “Yeah, he’s with him. Must have left when we didn’t notice.”

“The windows open. He’s so weird,” Clary chuckled. “All right guys, I’ll see you later. You two better be working tomorrow, just cause you’re the boss doesn’t mean you get so much time off!” She teased Alec.

He shook his head with a laugh. “Of course. We’ll be there.”

“Bright and early,” Jace said, and winked at Magnus, who groaned.

So Clary said he goodbyes, and it was the three of them once more.

“I wonder, why didn’t Simon say anything about leaving the loft?”

“Jace, you’ve done the same thing before…” Alec said, sitting back on the couch.

Magnus nodded. “He’s right, my dear, you have pulled a few disappearing acts.”

“Whatever.” He crossed his arms, and sat down with a plop on the couch.

Alec pursed his lips, hiding a chuckle.

Magnus outright laughed, though, and said teasingly, “Someone’s cranky. I think it’s time for a nap.”

Jace uncrossed his arms, and looked at the warlock. “I know you were joking, but that sounds pretty nice right now.”

Alec agreed. “I need one too. A certain someone thought it funny to wake up two hours after going to bed.” He glared at Jace with false anger.

“More like 4,” Jace corrected, and Magnus pinched his arm. “Ow. Rude.”

So they set up the living room for Jace and himself to sleep. Jace took the small couch because he curled up in his sleep, and Alec the larger because he was taller. They both got pillows and blankets and the lights dimmed, and Magnus tucked them in.

“Thanks Mags, I love you.”

“Love you too, darling. Sleep well. You, too, Jace.”

Magnus kissed them both one their heads, Alec on the lips, and once they were sleeping soundly, he worked on a few things for his customers. It was just a nice calm evening, with both Shadowhunter’s snoring on the sofa.

He shook his head at them and smiled. “My boys…” he said fondly.

_+_

Clan meetings were a regular thing. Before Simon was turned, they didn’t have them a lot. Camille just took charge and told everyone what to do and basically informed them, or not, of new happenings in the Downworld, so said every other vampire Simon associated with here. But with Raphael as their leader now, he wanted everyone to have a say in things and have an idea of what was happening in the Downworld. Usually the clan got the word on fresh news, most of them being gossips, but it was nice to hear it from Raphael during their meetings anyways. Everybody got to speak and give ideas. Even if he denied them whatever they said, it was still a good thing to be heard.

While Simon loved that his boyfriend was a great leader, and that their clan was becoming more of a family and turning into something far better than they used to be, he hated the boring part of these meetings. Really, what he truly hated, were the vampires that _never shut up_. Some vampires took their chance of being able to speak as a chance to babble on and on about nonsense, and while Raphael cut them off most of the time, a few today had good points to make, Simon admitted.

He was uncomfortable now. It had been an hour in this dark room that was the designated meeting room. The long wood table in the center that sat about two dozen vampires reminded Simon of something out of the renaissance and it creeped him out. Like most things in the Hotel, really, but some he still got the heebie jeebies from, while others just looked old and freaky.

The only reason he was there, really, was because Raphael wanted him there. Simon didn’t always participate in these gatherings because it wasn’t required by their leader. But Raphael loved having Simon sit beside him like his Queen or something. He got a power kick out of it, even Lily said so.

Like reading his mind—maybe he did, too, Simon once thought Raphael was Edward Cullen and his boyfriend denied it too quickly—Raphael put his arm over his chair, squeezing his shoulder once.

That got Lily to give that wicked grin of hers that meant he would be teased. Well, jokes on her, Simon was leaving after this. He was going home to sleep for a long time.

Raphael cleared his throat, catching all vampire’s attentions. “That’s all for today.”

Simon resisted the urge to groan in relief. He just jumped up quick, and smiled wide at Raphael, showing his teeth. He felt tired in that weird energized way.

Raphael looked at him, shaking his head once. “Dios.”

Everyone else escaped the room, and Lily waved at him goodbye. Stan did, too, but less enthusiastically.

“Are you leaving now?” Raphael asked.

He gave Simon a kiss on the cheek, taking his hand as they walked out of the room together. They headed to the bottom floor of the Hotel, walking down the curved staircase.

“Yeah, ‘m tired.” He almost yawned.

Raphael cooed. “Poor baby.”

Simon playfully hissed, leaning into his side in a soft push that barely moved Raphael. “Whatever.”

“Cranky, too.” Raphael grinned.

“Yeah, yeah.”

Once at the front door, Simon turned to face him, letting go of his hand reluctantly. He smiled, looking at Raphael, his soft eyes which were only like that for him, and those hands that touched him tenderly, wishing he could stay. He felt so connected to him and wanted to be in Raphael’s presence always. The connection was so much stronger when they were together. It was part of the sire bond, he guessed, but there was more to it than that. Simon always had a lingering feeling from the bond they shared, and it made him happy knowing he was with Raphael always.

“I’ll see you after sunset tonight?” he asked. He would probably come before then, just to cuddle in bed with a sleeping Raphael for a while.

“I’ll be waiting for you…”

Raphael kissed Simon with fervor, his hands clawing his shirt, Simon’s doing the same in return. Invisible sparks flew between them for a moment, and it lasted just seconds before they pulled back.

“Goodbye,” he said softly, as if out of breath even though he didn’t need it.

“Adiós, mi amor.”

And Simon sped home still feeling the lingering touch of his boyfriend.

Home wasn’t that far and he reached it in about five minutes. It was fairly early, so he was surprised to hear laughter when he walked in. And it was almost childlike, too.

He frowned, closing the door softly. Curiosity didn’t kill the vampire, so he followed the sound. It was loudest in Magnus and Alec’s room. The door was cracked enough to let a sliver of light peak through.

Simon was really quiet. He felt bad for sneaking around, but he hadn’t ever heard Magnus, or Alec, giggle before. Not like that. He was too nosy to not look in and get answers.

“I’ll get you!”

“Noo! Stop!”

“Oh, he will, Magnus knows all the good spots!”

And he peaked in the doorway. Simon was frozen on the spot. If he was able to, he might’ve had a small heart attack.

On the large bed belonging to Magnus and Alec, were both of them plus Jace. Not in the way he would think, either, which he didn’t ever want to picture at all.

Nope. It was not like that, it was almost he opposite of that. Jace was being…tickled…by Magnus. And Jace was the one laughing—no, giggling, like a kid. All the while, Alec sat on the huge mattress cross-legged, ginning at both of them like it was a cute sight to see.

And yeah, it sort of was, he supposed. Jace was actually looking happy, and Magnus, too, was smiling as his slender fingers worked across Jace’s sides and stomach to get his cries of joy out. The blonde kicked his feet, and Magnus hovered over him, calling him pet-names. It was… adorable.

Jace suddenly choked on his giggles, and Magnus stopped, Alec frowning in concern. Simon almost gave his cover away with the urge to ask if he was fine.

“Sweetheart, are you okay?” Magnus put his hand on Jace’s head, ruffling his locks. “Did I go too far?”

“Maggy, I’m okay.” Jace grinned, and his eyes were so bright and unlike his usual eyes, Simon was dumbfounded. He seemed to be so free from himself, from what made Jace so… _Jace_.

Wait— _Maggy!?_

“If you’re sure, baby.”

_BABY?!_

“Uh-huh. 'm good!” And the blonde showcased an innocent smile.

What was this about? The names, the tickling, Jace being relaxed and smiling and letting another man tickle him? He was un-stiff, unlike himself in a good way, not the fierce Shadowhunter but someone else. Why were Alec and Magnus treating him this way, and so delicately?

Since the laughter stopped, and he didn’t want them to see him spying, he quickly sped to his room and pulled out his computer. This was not ordinary. He had to know what was going on. He was wide awake and his thoughts kept circling. What did this mean? Why were they like that? Were they together, in a polyamorous relationship? Was it more than that? He just had to know.

So Simon did Simon, and nerd-ed out with research. First things first, Google. Then Wikipedia. And then…the rest of the internet.

And an hour or more later, with his eyes burning from barely blinking reading the computer screen, and from being tired, he figured it out.

Age play. That was the only explanation. For the tickling. For the nicknames. For the close cuddling of Magnus and Jace while Alec just watched them. And Simon wasn’t new to being kinky in bed, but he was pretty positive that this wasn’t sexual. It looked too… parental, in the way that a dad would make his child laugh, but in this case, Jace had two “caretakers”.

When did this happen? Why?

Also, what did Magnus say? _OH._ Simon blushed. He called Jace ‘baby’. Yeah, Jace wasn’t a baby… He was a grown adult with powerful abilities. Then again, Simon loved to be called baby by Raphael. Although, he said it in Spanish, and it was much sexier.

He didn’t really know what to do with this information. And now, he could hear they were up, and laughing together. He didn’t want to intrude, just in case they were keeping this private, but he didn’t want to leave because they would notice. So he kind of just stayed in his room. He watched movies, and texted Clary and Izzy a couple times, and then realized he could just go out the window.

He was desperate. They knew he was home, so he just kind of jumped out the window to go to see his boyfriend. He would cuddle him while he slept if he was even asleep, and if not, well, there were other things they could do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm working on the next part right now, but I also have other projects I'm trying to finish/start. Please comment, kudos, all that good stuff!! Much love guys and gals ~! <3


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